Make these dead bones live again.
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Friday, March 11, 2005
i like to write lyrics down, and these lyrics are as good as they come.
I hear a voice crying out from the bellies of their mammas.
Hold on for today, dont worry about tomarrow.
Though the rains of today seem to fall with sorrow.
Let me be and we'll see this life for tomarrow.
I hear a cry going out in the middle of the night.
Under the scatter of the stars, from a voice cracked with fright.
And as the tears stripe cheeks from pain running south,
the taste of salt hits the corner of her mouth.
Resting on tied tongues with no breath left to speak.
Sick of throwing up with no bread left to eat.
Tired and confused from dissillusionment.
Sunny days turned grey, and away he went.
Ripping the hooks out of your heart from the promises at dark,
the words found their mark as the sheets came apart.
Every spoken word broken, as he flipped you a token.
Kiss on the cheek as his feet found the open door.
What's in store for you he didn't question,
shook his burden to the floor to leave you guessing
about the future and what it will unfold,
but youre still standing there rockin' it so bold like.
Holding on to these songs of hope, i cannot sing them with out you.
You cant just point a finger, and say its all right.
Take a trip downtown, and put it out of sight.
Because two came together so strong one night,
and two wrongs dont make one right.
Giving a voice to the voiceless, saying its choiceless.
Because they're priceless, my princess.
I feel the kicks and the churns, give me a turn
and a shot at this world to fight the fight
to beat my plight and let my light shine
in this dark time, with all its ways of wearing crime.
And let this world drown in these ultrasounds.
Hearing this heart, beats speak so profound.
From beat down, to higher ground,
Where hope abounds with love that astounds.
Les miserables, this aint to miserable daughter.
Calling you Cossette, Cause God will be your father.
Current mood:  calm Current music: this
i just had an amazing conversation on my new screen name with Roni. hahahahahahaha.
xmanwichx: why hello
Ronixduran: hi
xmanwichx: do you know deathstar?
Ronixduran: yes i do
xmanwichx: thats kool
xmanwichx: i met josh once
xmanwichx: at a bleeding through show
Ronixduran: ya. he's a really nice guy
xmanwichx: yeah, hes my idol
xmanwichx: sooooo do you like the mosh? lolz
Ronixduran: like it but dont get in it
xmanwichx: why? afraid?
xmanwichx: lolz
Ronixduran: i guess you can say that
xmanwichx: i mosh kids all the time
Ronixduran: so who r u?
xmanwichx: my name is andrew
xmanwichx: im a kool dood
Ronixduran: oh r u? haha
xmanwichx: i like hardcore
xmanwichx: its my life
Ronixduran: and how did you find my sn andrew?
xmanwichx: my friend robby got it from his sister who knows ur sisters couisin's friend
Ronixduran: haahah oh ok
xmanwichx: i luv deathstar
Ronixduran: so would you say hardcore defines you?
xmanwichx: psh, yeah
xmanwichx: its my life
Ronixduran: does anything else define you?
xmanwichx: umm
xmanwichx: mosh, tough, fight
xmanwichx: core
xmanwichx: i dunno im sensitive too
xmanwichx: i like books and shit
Ronixduran: how about jesus?
xmanwichx: who?
xmanwichx: like god stuff?
xmanwichx: i went to an NIV show with deathstar and moshed some bible thumpers once
xmanwichx: lolz
xmanwichx: are you a bible thumper?
Ronixduran: i dont know what you define as a bible thumper
Ronixduran: i love ppl the way Jesus did. nothing other than that
xmanwichx: like, you thump bibles
xmanwichx: LOLZ
xmanwichx: thats cool
xmanwichx: kool*
Ronixduran: how old are you?
xmanwichx: 14
Ronixduran: i see
xmanwichx: y?
xmanwichx: i can mosh 60 year olds if i wanted
xmanwichx: i dont care
Ronixduran: you seemed to be a little younger
xmanwichx: i'll mosh anybody
xmanwichx: thats how i roll
xmanwichx: HAHAHAHAHAHA
xmanwichx: roni, i freakin love you
xmanwichx: hahahahaha
xmanwichx: BAHAHAHAHA
Ronixduran: who is this?
xmanwichx: sooooooo good
xmanwichx: little ryan
Ronixduran: ryan?
Ronixduran: i knew it
xmanwichx: hahahahahHhahahkBSAIGDS
xmanwichx: IM LOSIN' IT
that was it. i had fun. i love my friends. i love jesus. we leave for tour next weekend. color me exited. i love you.
AINT IT BOUT TIME FOR REVIVAL!!!!!
Current mood:  accomplished Current music: mat kearney
Thursday, February 24, 2005
im still awake. and im thinking of you.
i decided to look through the old pictures in the box from the corner of my room. i found you in there among all the old memories. friends i dont talk to anymore, old loves, places im glad to be away from, and places i wish i could see again.
i just dont understand. why dont you care? why did you walk away from me?
You left with no explaination. sometimes i think one i wouldnt want to hear would be better than none.
i still think about how much i love you.
i still dwell in how much i miss you.
and i still pray for you everyday.
it sucks when youre gone. and youre gone all the time.
Current mood:  melancholy
tonight was awesome.
shannon's cousin from salt lake came. her name is angela. she came, and listened, and we talked, and talked, and she accepted jesus. i love seeing the lord work. and im not worthy at all. but i love him so much.
things are the same i guess. my friends are awesome, and work is fine. god is good.
im practicing with Man Vs. Grizzly tomarrow. i dont know how its gonna be. i'll do my best, but i honestly havent played for like, a year. i hope playing drums is like riding a bike.
i dont know. life is way good. things are awesome.
i miss molly and kim alot. pray for them please. im not even sure what for. i just want them to know god. i love them so much.
i miss bonnies family alot too. pray for them as well. and pray for bonnie. and pray for me so i dont hate her. because i love her. wow, that didnt make much sense.
God is just so good. SO good.
thats all. knights of the round cuzzi REPRESENT!
Current mood: excited Current music: cursive
Saturday, February 19, 2005
josh and amy are gettting hitched today.
i love those guys so much. i havent really been able to spend time with amy, but josh really is one of my best friends. i love them both so much, and im sure God will have his hand on their marriage.
im broke cause ive been buying things for the wedding, and we had a non stop bachelor party. haha.
im poor. im sore. and i want to learn muay thai.
neat.
Current mood: tired
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
alot of things going on. first of all, god is so good. hes so awesome. everyone please pray. pray more. spend your days in prayer. hes so good, and hes listening. and hes working.
pray for redlands. and for tithemi. pray for unity in the body of christ. pray that its not about church anymore, that its about Jesus. and loving him. pray that the court overturns roe vs. wade. abortion is discusting, and its an easy way out for people who either dont understand, or dont care. im sorry if i sounds like a jerk, but im not interested in being P.C. im interested in saving lives. saving God's children.
i love jesus so much. hes amazing, and loves us more than we can ever understand.
anyway- xDEATHSTARx is going on tour next month. and i probably couldnt be more exited if i tried. we are going out with a dying memory and suffocate faster.
i'll post the dates here, and pretend that people read this.
MARCH
20- anahiem, CA.
21- bakersfield, CA.
22- sacremento, CA.
23- portland, OR.
24- boise, ID.
25- salt lake city, UT.
26- las vegas, NV.
27- lake havasu city, AZ.
28- phoenix, AZ.
then home sweet home. im exited even to miss redlands. and im exited to think of how happy i'll be when i see my friends again.
anyways, i love you.
Jesus loves you more than that. ( and i love you a pretty good amount.)
Current mood: content Current music: cursed.
Wednesday, February 9, 2005
theres alot of things going on right now.
1. xdsx is recording this friday and saturday. im stoked. its going to be awesome.
2. we started a rugby team, so we are practicing mondays. best game ever.
3. i want to start ju jitsu training with steveo and some other dude, but i dont know if i can because of work.
4.Doozer is moving from arizona in late may, and hes going to move in with me. it should be fun, and im glad hes going to be around. i think everyone will be glad to have him around as well.
5. xdsx is going on tour in march for 8 days with suffocate faster. ever since i was a little kid, ive wanted to go on tour with a band, even more than get rich, or cut an album. so im clearly losing my mind.
i dont want to get overwhelmed. i hope i can manage it all, or at least, most of it. at least things with church and the band. those are the most important.
anyways, thats my gripe. i love you guys. keep praying. things will work out according to the lords will. (which is the best thing ever.)
im going to be writing a mini book, full of quotes and stories from my friends. why? dont know. but im gonna. so heres the first quote of the book.
" if you press you body up against mine, im gonna break your neck."- b-town.
Current mood:  blah Current music: slipknot.
Tuesday, February 8, 2005
tonight was pretty whatever. im the type of person...actually i think its more like a whole genre of people, who think to much.
tonight i thought about God. and how he works. and how i dont understand it. but i have faith. Hes doing so much, and sometimes we dont notice, and sometimes we dont want to notice.
i thought about mitch, and felt bummed for him. God is working in his life so much, i just hope he sees it. pray for him.
ive been thinking about Kim and Molly alot lately. and how much i miss them. and how much i love them. and how much this hurts.
I think about them everyday. and i hope they are okay. and i hope they make each other laugh. and i know that this wouldnt hurt and worry me so much if i knew they were seeking god. then i would know that they are going to be okay. i love them so much. and cant help but think that i messed something up really bad. and it hurts more to not be sure what it was that i messed up.
thinking about the friends i miss makes me happy to have the friends i have.
and it made me start thinking of the things that my friends do. and made me realize how completely strange we all are. heres some things from my mental list:
~josh highlands flattop.
~eric at band practice.
~loomis. hahaa.
~mattys tattoo.
~jason keller talking about "the zest of this tangelo".
~kevvy D and i carrying fake "puff puff" cigars.
~jacobs tattoos.
~ bad town talking about effing people up, then turning into a damn baby for an ice blended mocha.
those are just some of the things.
so, mostly out of boredom, but partly out of admiration; to the following people: thank you so much for caring for me, putting up with me, making me think, making me laugh, and making me real. you guys saved my life, and im in debt to you all. you are my family. you have my heart-
joshy. jay. eric. bishop. rygar. kevvy. bad town. loomis. anessa. cor(e)y. daniel. yenny. misha. dirty dan. steveo. matty. logan. thommy. kristy. dbo. hespesica. eden. jacob. teddy. joy. anna. natalee. nomia. raymond. roni. kyle. jessica corona. amy. the bear. matt. big ryan. taffy. nick g. sarah. shaina. elaine. craig. nikki. dan. katie. malloy. tamara. krissy. hans.
thats all i can think of. but thats alot. if i forgot you, and you are pretty sure that i love you, and you give a crap. tell me and i'll add you to the list, just for kicks. i love you. im going to bed.
forgive me when i suck, guys.
i love you.
Current mood: sad Current music: against me!
Saturday, February 5, 2005
I drove past your house, and hoped you are doing well. i hoped that you are still laughing, and that you are still exited about where you are. i thought about all the fun we had together. and hoped for more to come.
I drove past your work, and thought about when we would spend time together. i wondered what it would be like if things went differently. and i missed you. and i wanted to talk to you, and make sure that your sisters arent treating you badly. and hoped that i would hear your voice soon.
i drove past your house, and worried about you. and wondered if you were still into the same stuff. and hoped you werent. but i thought about how much i loved you. and i hoped that whatever you are into, its making you happy. like you made me.
I drove down the road i used to take to go to your house, and wished that it was summer time again, so i could smell the orange blossoms. and know that i was there. and i wondered if you still hated it there. and felt sad, and wished that i could still make you smile. and i thought about the nights we would spend together, and what it was like coming the opposite way on that road, on the way home from your house.
i drove past your apartment, and missed you dearly. i wondered why we dont talk anymore. and hoped that you are around people who appreciate you. and wondered if you and him still fight. and wondered if you still cry when you talk to her. and i wished that i could still be sitting next to you when you held the phone away from your ear while you did. and remembered your laugh, and how warm it made me feel.
i drove past your house, and wanted to tell you that i loved you. and wanted to sit and talk with you. and felt sad about the things i know. and wished that you would do things with a whole heart. and remembered how the sky was blue, and the horizon was black when i was watching it from the window of my car. and wondered if everywhere looked like that at 4 in the morning.
i thought about driving by your house, but didnt. i thought about your family, and how much i miss them. i remembered the smell of your house, and how it gave me the feeling you get when you are in a new city. i thought about how many nights i spent there. and how many times we laughed and cried in your bedroom. and wondered which the walls soaked up more. i thought about your grandfather. and how i never realized how golden his words were. and thought about his face. and how it was like the paper in a novel. and hoped that i would see it again.
i drove past your work, and wondered how you were feeling at that moment. and hoped that you were feeling content. and i wondered what you thought about when you were there. and hoped that i was one of those things occasionally. and smiled about the way you explain things. and wondered how you would explain how i was feeling. and hoped to talk to you soon. because it makes me feel at home. and felt sad that you feel sad. and i wished that i could make it better somehow.
and i looked for the destination for my letter, but never found one. and i hoped that it would have a home soon, and that the words would mean something. and wondered who would read it. or if they would even care to.
Current mood: melancholy Current music: death cab for cutie
Thursday, February 3, 2005
tonight was cool. i love my friends. i love loomis because hes wierd (vierd) as heck, and always makes you laugh, even when he doesnt mean to. i love beejay because hes so sharp. he really is smart. i love kyle because hes so easy going and just loves us. i love steveo because hes an amazing story teller, and he seems really wise. even about things that dont make sense. i love yenny because shes very quiet, but very complex. i love shaina because shes random.
i dont know. im blessed and i need to learn not to be such a prick. im sorry.
i think im going to start posting stories about our friends. because i heard at least 3 amazing ones tonight.
i love you. see ya.
Current mood:  contemplative Current music: the postal service
so i made this thing cause i deleted my myspace and my notpop accounts. thats neat. i dont even think anybody knows i have this. thats cool. well god is amazing. see ya later.
Current mood: cheerful Current music: at the drive in
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